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Life is Really Funny if You Just Open Your Eyes…

Today, I was sitting under an umbrella by the pool. An indoor pool. Why are there umbrellas at the indoor pool? To keep the fluorescent light out of your eyes? And who on the staff do you have to tick off in order to get stuck with the rooms around the indoor pool?
In the same sitting, I witnessed the “lifeguard” standing by the sign that says “No glass, food, or drinks…” throwing his drinking glass back and forth from hand to hand. Great – this genius is going to save my life? This is the same one that was groping his girlfriend the entire time yesterday.
People have no problem eating fried calamari if it is shaped like a ring, but if it looks like a baby octopus – forget it. Ok, I’m in that camp; but I think it was my wife who really pushed me there. Our forefathers would be disappointed with the amount of know-how that has been lost over the years. Just a couple of hundred years ago, if you wanted a steak, the meat came from steer in your backyard. I wonder what would happen if Longhorn served steaks shaped like cows.
Tee times are skewed in favor of the golf course. We arrived early today in order to have time to hit on the practice range. I was able to hit 3 balls when our party was called – 25 minutes ahead of schedule. How many times have you ended up teeing off 25 minutes after your tee time? My game didn’t suffer too much as a result – moreso from heat exaustion than anything.
With kids, eating is more of a production than it is an act of necessity. Sure, they’ll complain and get grouchy when they’re hungry. But once the food arrives, It’s SHOWTIME! Teaching the rule of “you touch it and it’s yours” when eating at a family-style restaurant was more of a challenge than I thought it would be.
A fourth person joined my brothers-in-law today on the golf course. He was getting a handicap for some tournament he was playing in, so he needed someone to sign his scorecard. Golf is a game of honor, so I was certainly not going to review his scores or math. My signature was more to attest to the fact that he played that round on this particular day. My question is – will that card be a keepsake one day since my signature is on it? I doubt he’ll ever know of the greatness I expect to achieve. It’ll probably only last as long as it needs to go on his record. BTW – Geoff didn’t like him too much ’cause he was better than us. If he threw away my autograph, I’ll side with Geoff.
Did all of the major league teams go with a 3rd uniform style this year for Sunday games? I think it’s a case of obvious pandering to earn more of my money. Fortunately, the Braves jersey is butt-ugly, so I feel no temptation at all to purchase it.

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