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Posts tagged ‘Humor’

Deciphering Corporate Speak

Those of you working for smaller, private companies may not have been exposed to the vernacular I am about to rant about. The same may hold true for government employees. But for whatever reason, when you get into a company with 10,000+ employees with shareholders, etc. you end up speaking a different language. A new website, Unsuck-It has come to the rescue to help you decipher these words and phrases so that you will understand what the person is REALLY trying to say. Here are a few examples:

Drink the Kool-Aid – Meaning to follow blindly. I assume the origin from this was the Hale-Bopp comet people that all drank poisoned Kool-Aid thinking they were going to join aliens on the tail of the comet. If nothing else, they left quite the legacy on corporate America.  Update: Drew corrects me via comments that “but the origin is from the mass suicide in Jonestown, Guyana in 1978 when Jim Jones convinced his followers to drink poisoned Kool-Aid.”

Disambiguate – doesn’t clarify sound so much better? I actually used this word in a meeting yesterday to poke at someone else’s overuse of flowery language.

Operationalize – make it work. Could you imagine if management actually said you need to make something work? That would sound like they had a product that didn’t work. Hmm….

Social Media Strategy – Hahahaha. Defined as “Typing into text areas.” So true. I’m reminded of our social media guidelines at work, and the minor uproar they caused.

And my favorite: Ping Me – I recently said this to someone and haven’t heard from her since. Coincidence? Further proof that you should avoid corporate speak in all of your conversations with non-co-workers. Check out Unsuck-It and see what words and phrases you should be avoiding.

It’s Long Run Saturday

Mother nature has by-passed Spring in Atlanta and gone straight to Summer. Last week, the high temperatures were in the 40’s. This week they’ve been in the 80’s. I’ve had a few hard runs this week, along with some sunburn. Once my body re-adjusts to the heat it’ll be great and I’ll stop complaining. 

It seems every year around this time an article espousing the “rules of running” gets circulated. This year is no different. Here are a couple of my favorites from the list:

1. If you see a porta potty with no line, use it. Even if you don’t need to.

2. If you have to ask yourself, Does this driver see me? The answer is no.

3. If you have to ask yourself, Are these shorts too short? The answer is yes.

You can read the rest here -> A Few Rules to Run By

Enjoy your long run and remember – long is whatever is long for you. Great job!

 

IT Manager Position at Emory University – Math Proficiency Not Required

Once a week I receive an email from Monster.com with a snapshot of the career opportunities available in the Atlanta market. This morning I clicked thru one of the postings for an IT Manager at Emory University. Emory is a well respected, private university located just outside of the city. In these job descriptions, it is not uncommon to list percentages for categories so you understand the makeup of your responsibilities. For this position, the following breakdown was offered:

Emory Job Posting Requirements

So your job responsibilities set a written expectation for you to give 120-130%. I wonder how many people will apply.

Mapping Facebook to Real Life

The social software of the Internet has been a real curiosity for me over the past 3 years. People are essentially putting their entire social life on display without giving it a second thought. Things that were once kept amongst a close knit group of friends are now being shared with total strangers without a second thought.

Looking at this a step further, relationships are being built in cyberspace in ways that would NEVER take place in the real world. Could you imagine having a conversation with someone 140 characters at a time in real life? And what exactly does the “Poke” button on Facebook do? Here is a quick video showing you what real life would be like if it actually mimicked Facebook. Enjoy!

Suggestive Selling and Recommendation Engines

Sometime back I blogged about the challenges of building recommendation engines. It is very difficult to come up with an algorithm that can predict what you may be interested in. If you look at your recommendations on Amazon.com, you will typically notice a pattern based on an author or particular subject. Good luck finding something that was recommended because you liked John Grisham and Nuclear Physics – it simply seems this type of intersection is not in their algorithm.

If you look at Netflix on the other hand, this is exactly what they do. Based on the genre, actors, etc. and how other people who have rated other movies the same as you, Netflix takes a guess at how much you will like the movie. And they simply don’t recommend it – they say ‘we think you’ll give this 3.5 stars.’ Pretty cool stuff.

Why do I bring this up now? Because today is the launch of Windows 7 and I had a flashaback to a visit I paid to Amazon.com a short time ago. I was presented with the recommendation shown below.

Why on earth I should consider Cake Mania because I looked at Windows 7 is beyond me.

And no, I didn’t consider it – in case you were wondering.

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